The Art Of Letting Go Dealing with a Loss


This is most likely going to be one of the hardest blogs I have yet to write. *takes a deep breath in* which also means that most likely this will take me a while to finish but, while the thoughts are fresh in my mind and my heart runs heavy so ill type away.

May My Father Ramon be elevated and honored every time someone reads this blog

Not so long ago I lost my father. It was all frustrating, damaging, extremely painful, numbing, confusing, hostile, and life changing. Its a horror-mare become a reality. Nothing can really prepare you. Even when you know the time is near. You question everything and try to close out the world. The only thing that really kept me together and aided with the transition was my spirituality. My strong beliefs in my Eguns (ancestors) helped deal with the pain and gave closure.He would have not wanted me to do it no other way.

We believe in my religion that it is important to elevate a spirit by sending them light, lifting their spirit to transcend peacefully into the next realm. I knew this had to be done, it was extremely hard for me to even look at my fathers picture, at that point flashes of last memories and feelings would arise like a still movie seen picture being shoved in my head unwantedly blow for blow and I would start to cry. I couldn’t accept his death and did not even want to place his picture by my Egun shrine(ancestor shrine).

Somehow though with much given love and Counsel from my family and true selfless close friends I started to accept that life would change from this point on and started to look at a different perspective of this all. LESSONS. ..Isn’t that after all what life is about evolving, learning and doing it better next time for your greater happiness? It was finally time to stop dwelling how unfair it was and look at the blessings that when he was here how he touched my life and others so much. Daddy’s memories and lessons will never be gone, they will always live through me and my children and through his children’s children. This is so and i am so honored to have been so close to him every step of the way. Papi i still hear you whistling through the hallways, smell your bustelo coffee and see you watching telemundo or Al Rojo Vivo. What a happy young whimsical soul you had. everyone knew that.

Through all of this I was taught some very important positive things though such as Strength, Drive, Human Will, Positive coping, Appreciation, Honor, No pain last forever, Independence, Time is of the essence and Blessings in disguise. =] …It reminded me of a famous quote by Helen Keller– “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

I knew it was time to elevate my father. It would take 9 days,and be so hard for me but at the same time would bring closure and peace to me & my family. Even though this is not the elevation that i performed myself this is what a general elevation would be like which was taken from Yoruba Study Group of Detroit.

9 day Egungun (Ancestor) Elevation taken from Yoruba Study Group of Detroit forum

Alafia to all!

The purpose of this 9 day ritual is to elevate the spirits of those ancestors and protective guardians who watch over us and assist us in the spirit realm. Many of our ancestors passed on and adverse energy still lingers around their spirits as they make efforts to ascend to Olorun (heaven) or higher spiritual levels. We can assist ourselves by helping them achieve the goal of spiritual ascension.

What is needed:

  1. Fresh flowers
  2. Efun (cascarilla powder)
  3. clean/clear glass of water
  4. white candle

Either a picture of the ancestor or their name on a piece of paper (please make sure that no one alive is in the pictures with the ancestors)


On day one of this ritual, clean the space that you desire to raise your ancestor in with a mix of Florida water, cascarilla powder and clear water. You can pray over the area as you clean if you desire.

Draw a circle on the floor with the cascarilla chalk and draw 9 crosses or x’s on the circumference on the circle.

Place the flowers, clear glass of water, white tea-lite candle and the picture or name of your ancestor in this sacred circle.

If you like you can say a individual prayer for them before you recite the prescribed prayers taken from Allan Kardec’s book, “Collection of Selected Prayers”

The prayers are as follows:

(1)For The Mediums:

“And it should come to pass in the last days (says the lord), that I will impact my spirit over all flesh, and our sons and daughters will prophetize, and our youngsters will see visions and our elder will see through dreams. And certainly I will pour my spirit into my servants and they should prophetize.”

(2)To the Guardian Angels and Protector Spirits:

“Prudent and benevolent spirits, messengers of the Lord, yours is the mission to assist us and to conduct us by the good path, support met. Endure the test of this life, give me strength to suffer them without murmuration, deviate from me the bad thoughts, and please don’t let me give access to the bad spirits which will intend to make me fail in the progress of love for my fellow beings and all other beings. Illuminate my conscience, so that I could see my defects. Take of my eyes the veil of pride, which could prevent me from seeing my own defects and to confess them to myself. Though above all…my guardian angel, particularly you are the one who looks for me. And thou protective spirits, who take interest in me, give me the dignity of your benevolence. You know my necessities, thus, please help me to be conceded of the grace according to the will of God.”

Another Prayer-

“Oh! God, permit the good spirits who are surrounding me to come to my help when I succumb or in danger, let them inspire faith, hope, love, let them be a support for me, a hope and a test of your mercy, let me find at their side the necessary strength to resist the suggestions of evilness, the faith for salvation and the love that comforts.”

(3)To The Suffering Souls Who Ask For Prayers:

“Our clement and merciful, Father, make our trust and bondage extend itself over all spirits who wishes our prayers and particularly over the soul of…

Good spirits, whose occupation is good, intercept for this soul for her relief. Make a beam of hope glitter in her eyes, and that the Divine light illuminates her. Ad let her see the imperfections which keep her from dwellings of the beatitudes. Open her heart to repentance. Make her understand that by her efforts she could make the time of her test easier. That God, in his bondage, gives her strength to persevere in her good resolutions.

That these benevolent words, could mitigate and soothe her pains. Giving her a demonstration that someone in earth takes part in her sorrows and that we wish her happiness.”

(4)To Persons Who Had Loved Each Other:

“Be digne, oh! Our God! To listen favorably to this prayer I am directing to You for the spirit of…Let him glimpse at your divine lights and let the good way of eternal happiness be easy for him. Permit the good spirits to take my words and my thoughts to him. You was loved by me in this world, listen to my voice who you call to give you an affection. God had permitted you to be the first one to be freed; I should not complain about it without selfishness, because then it would be like wishing for you the penalties and sufferings of this life. I hope then with resignation, the moment of our reunion in this happier world.

I know that our separation is momentaneous and that no matter how long it could look to be, its duration is erased in the eternal happiness which God promise his elected ones. Let His bondage preserve me to do anything which could retard this wish of mine, saving me the pain of not finding you again after this terrestrial imprisonment.

Oh! How sweet and consoler is the Truth that only a material veil is the one hiding you from my sight; that you can be here at my side, look at me hear me like other times and better yet like before; that you don’t forget me as I also don’t forget you, that our thoughts never cease to be confounded and that yours follows me and sustain me always. Let the peace of the Lord be with you.”

These prayers are to be recited each day of this 9 day process, along with a new candle (daily) and a fresh glass of water.

On day 2 of the ritual you should place the picture or name on a book, day 3 on a table or whatever you chose to elevate them higher than they were the day before until the ritual is complete. It is not necessary to keep them in the circle for the entire 9 day process.

Now you are on the road to elevating these souls to a place of dignity and happiness.



I have to honestly say that now after the elevation, I feel so much more at peace with my fathers passing because, I know truly that he’s at peace.every day I would cry as i recited certain things and placed him higher but, i knew he was going to the light. =) now he will be blessing others in the next life as he did for us here.

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”–Helen Keller



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